Dumb Sports Rules Part 3

rule-book-image_large.jpgPittsburgh Flag Football League

The people have practically been begging for a third installment to the Dumb Rules series and I absolutely cannot blame them. The sports world is the perfect place for dumb rules because the rules are already dumb and the fans get real worked up about them. So why not take it a step further?

Baseball: Pitch Clock

Now, this may seem like a normal rule, I assure you that this version of the rule will not help at all. This pitch clock is going to be just long enough that the pitcher can get the ball back and throw the pitch. No time to get a sign or take a deep breath. Let’s really make these pitchers work. They live too cushy of a life in their little raised circle. Baseball is boring when pitchers are really dealing, so let’s change that.

Football: Ice Football

This is pretty self-explanatory. Make them play football on ice. Without ice skates. This will allow for the creation of new juke moves because the players will not be able to juke at all. Some may see this as “unnecessary” or “completely devoid of reasoning”, I would respond to those statements by saying “You are the one reading an article about dumb sports rules.” Everyone is tired of football in its current state, so let’s make it far stupider.

Basketball: Rock Ball

This has a couple dimensions. First, the basketball will be a rock. Obviously, it will be much harder to dribble because rocks are not known for their bouncing abilities. This will make the players really show their passing abilities. However, it will be harder to pass because the ball will be a rock. The second part is that there must be two players on each team playing rock ‘n roll music while the clock is running. Why? Because it would be dumb. If you have not learned, there is no point to these rules other than them being dumb. And who doesn’t love rock ‘n roll?

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